


this is your baptism.

by projectfreelancer



Category: Far Cry (Video Games), Far Cry 5
Genre: Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-25
Updated: 2018-04-25
Packaged: 2019-04-27 20:03:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14433072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/projectfreelancer/pseuds/projectfreelancer
Summary: joseph has always been john’s saviour.





	this is your baptism.

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING for abuse/incest and drug/alcohol abuse. I do not "ship" joseph/john: this is my take and what I believe is implied in FC5 in regards to john's trauma and joseph's part in it. Joseph really is insane and I adore John. Also sorry if the timeline is wrong; the Seed family timeline is confusing. At the start John is like 8 and Joseph is probably 12 or something even though that's not realistic to the timeline. I don't care!

Joseph is his saviour before he can even grasp the meaning of the word.

One night, he is grabbed by the arm by his father, and he is expecting the hit that always follows: cold, harsh, swift. His eyes shut for what he expects to come—but it never comes.

“Put him down,” is what he hears, and the voice is hard, sharp, but calming as soon as he hears it. His eyes open, and now he can see Joseph standing in the doorway, loose clothes barely fitting his thinning waste.

Joseph is not looking at their father but instead at John. Holding his eyes leaves a heavy feeling inside John, and suddenly the hands grabbing at him are off him, and his father turns to the boy at the doorway. “The fuck did you say to me?”

Joseph does not even falter, and John feels dizzy at the fact. “Leave my brother alone.”

And when their father crashes into him, fist a flurry of fury, Joseph does not take his eyes off of John, a smile smile on his lips as they stare across the room while blood pools on the wounds now on Joseph’s body.

John crawls into his bed that night and weeps while Joseph smooths a raw, swollen hand through his hair as he sings him to sleep.

—

Joseph is his saviour because Joseph will take most of the violence their parents dole out. But he is not always there, and those are the days that make John’s skin crawl. When he cannot hide from his father’s rage, his mother’s wrath, and he is held down until he can barely beg for them to let him go. Held down until his body is painted black and blue, red spilling down his body.

But Joseph always comes home, and Joseph always finds him alone and weeping in their room.

“Oh John,” he says in his familiar voice, “I am sorry I could not save you this time.” And he takes a bandage out from where he hides all their emergency supplies, always so prepared, and he wraps gauze around John’s injuries. Looks at him with the heavy look, does not blink when John flinches as he places a kiss on the wrist that is surely broken.

“I will save you next time.”

—

Joseph is his saviour. Joseph stands up to their parents; Joseph defends him; Joseph coddles him when he cries while Jacob just ignores it all.

Joseph is his saviour, and John does not question when Joseph crawls into his bed, when Joseph lays a kiss on his forehead, his cheek, his lips. It is innocent; Joseph has done it before. But there is something wet about it this time, and something in John feels like it’s crawling to escape from his body. Joseph’s hands map the edges of John’s body, and he shivers with it and it feels wrong somehow, but it is not his parents’ hands that are cold, harsh, swift, causing only pain where they touch. His hands are warm, familiar, grounding. Pleasure instead of pain.

Joseph is his saviour, and John never questions when he crawls into his bed at night.

—

There are moments when John forgets about Joseph over their years of separation. Moments when John has lines of white powder displayed out for him, alcoholic drinks surrounding him, the night club lights blinding and blurry as they pulse. He inhales and chases the drugs with a shot, and by now everything is starting to swirl together in his vision. Laughter chokes out his throat, and his eyes sets on a man on the dance floor.

It’s easy to sway over there as if he was sober because he is hardly ever not sober. Practice makes perfect, and John tries not to think of how many sins he has to confess for. Tries not to think of pleads in a confessional as he slides against the man now, bodies colliding, and it feels ecstatic down his spine and into his bones with the way they move with the beat. The man’s hands find his hair, his lips on his neck, and John knows what is to come.

He takes him back to his home, leaving the bar with another shot between him and the stranger. When John pushes him back against the doorway when they enter the house, he can feel the man grunt in pain, and something crawls in his stomach at the sound. A memory flashes through his mind: soft eyes, warm hands, and John feels the kiss between him and the man deepen.

And when John pushes the man on his back onto the bed, once hands are crawling down his skin, John tries not to close his eyes and tries to pretend he does not see Joseph’s eyes and feels Joseph’s hands.

—

Seeing Joseph again is like being drowned in holy water. His eyes meet the soft ones and suddenly he cannot breath, cannot say anything, is only stunned in silence. Hope County’s dirty-air blows against the two of them as they stand apart, but then Joseph is coming towards him, and his hand finds the back of John’s head, and now their foreheads are pressed against each other. Air comes back into his lungs at full-force, and it is as if he has never breathed before this moment. He can feel emotions tower inside him and worries he may cry in front of Joseph just like their childhood.

“My brother,” Joseph is saying, and his voice is even more soothing than it had been when they were children. John shivers at it. “My dearest brother, how I have missed you.”

John is shaking. He can feel it; he’s sure Joseph can feel it too. He may collapse at any moment if Joseph takes his hands off of him. “Joseph…” It is all he can say.

“I have so much to show you. So much to teach you,” Joseph says, and his hand leaves against the back of his head and lands on his shoulder. “Follow me, my John.”

—

Eden’s Gate is the thing that makes the most sense to John—more than anything else ever did. Joseph had saved him; Joseph had stood against their parents; and it only makes sense that Joseph is chosen to save the world.

Joseph baptises him soon enough, guiding him above the water, and says, “My child.” And he kisses the water from John’s lips, and it is just like drowning.

—

  
And Joseph loves him, always has, trust him with the position to baptise new members and make the videos to promote their project. Joseph loves him, and John does what he can to please him. Writes lust and sloth into his skin while Joseph watches with bated breath. Gives in easily when Joseph opens up his mouth, draws his fingers against the sins etched into his skin, his own sin pressed against him.

Joseph loves him; Joseph saved him; and he will save the world too.

 


End file.
